i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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