How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
