i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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