yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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