Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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