just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
