Say something about gay babies.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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