he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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