school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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