you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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