Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
