yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
what day is it and did you see me today?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
