Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I believe in your delicious
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
