God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
