it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
