i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
