Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize