This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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