Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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