Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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