I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
