i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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