covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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