This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize