It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
