Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Someone came in the potted fern
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
