i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
