you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize