I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
