I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
