Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
