respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
