i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
