Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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