Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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