So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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