I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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