ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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