I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
