am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
