Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
