it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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