Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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