I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
