I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
