I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
