when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
