So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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