At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
