I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
