I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Randomize
