Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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