you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
