Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
