his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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