i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
