If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
