I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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