...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
