I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
