the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
they need to just BURY HIM!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
