O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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