Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
