so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
