I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Quick, to the slutcave!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's shark week go big or go home
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
