please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
